I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
