I wish you could order shots online.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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