I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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