did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
