Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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