Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
only you would photoshop your dick
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
