You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize