Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
