that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
