dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
