She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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