he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
