Texts From Last Night

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  (661): View more from California

  if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.

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  (661): if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies. http://tfl.nu/xdyr
  Replies (27) Good night (718) Bad night (5522)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!

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  (414): I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name! http://tfl.nu/m6pe
  Replies (22) Good night (6018) Bad night (689)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.

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  (571): Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever. http://tfl.nu/jxfd
  Replies (14) Good night (5677) Bad night (523)
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  (607): View more from New York

  you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY

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  (607): you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY http://tfl.nu/h6do
  Replies (47) Good night (3099) Bad night (14482)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??

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  (816): I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right?? http://tfl.nu/udb6
  Replies (31) Good night (7778) Bad night (1274)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position

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  (+44): i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position http://tfl.nu/45mu
  Replies (9) Good night (851) Bad night (3031)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?

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  (778): Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight? http://tfl.nu/8s8e
  Replies (7) Good night (4163) Bad night (834)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....

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  (972): Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories.... http://tfl.nu/damv
  Replies (6) Good night (2320) Bad night (539)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.

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  (305): No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon. http://tfl.nu/06ms
  Replies (9) Good night (2321) Bad night (1043)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.

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  (607): Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage. http://tfl.nu/h8mr
  Replies (3) Good night (902) Bad night (415)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away

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  (708): I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away http://tfl.nu/ohfx
  Replies (5) Good night (931) Bad night (463)
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  (619): View more from California

  Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.

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  (619): Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll. http://tfl.nu/87wg
  Replies (4) Good night (858) Bad night (1009)
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  (+27): View more from South Africa

  Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.

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  (+27): Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything. http://tfl.nu/71ow
  Replies (1) Good night (450) Bad night (222)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes

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  (267): Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes http://tfl.nu/att1
  Replies (1) Good night (411) Bad night (253)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"

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  (845): I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight" http://tfl.nu/gosi
  Replies (2) Good night (368) Bad night (314)

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