so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
