she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You left your phone here
Wait...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
