Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
