Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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