So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
