For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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