either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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