we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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