my sisters under your porch take her home
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
