OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
