There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
