The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
