mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize