Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
