where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize