new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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