Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
