i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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