i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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