ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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