Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
babies were throwing up all over the place
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
