I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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