Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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