How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
