she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
