apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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