How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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