You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
