We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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