it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
