I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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