So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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