Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize