I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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