that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
