yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
operation have a gay friend backfired
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
