I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
