wrigley field is MILF paradise
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
