I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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