Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
