you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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