I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
