i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He felt like a one man threesome
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I want a musical about memes.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
