I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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