You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
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