I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
