i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
