Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
