We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
